2006: Kohl's Candies Tiered Denim Jean Skirt

I thought this skirt was cool. In my head, I thought the tiered with frayed stitching added an unexpected twist to the traditional denim skirt. In reality, it looks like something my 6 year old niece would wear.

See, ladies, it's tragedies like this that happen when you shop in the Juniors department too long. I may be able to FIT in Juniors sizing, but that doesn't mean I should wear it.

2004: GAP Outlet Green Hawaiian-Print Shirt

I confess, I've never been to Hawaii and I don't live anywhere near the ocean. I live in a landlocked Midwestern state. Heck, I probably can't even book a direct flight from here to Hawaii. But a girl can dream, can she?

And dream I did, with this lovely Hawaiian-themed shirt from The Gap Outlet. For a low, low price of $4.97, this shirt can whisk me away to two different worlds:

On one hand, this shirt makes me look like a loudmouth tourist, lounging on the beach, sipping heavy-hitting cocktails at 8AM.

But on the other hand, it makes me look like an undercover Miami detective who's trying to conceal a gun.

2001: Old Navy Purple Plaid Capri Pants w/ Matching Headband

This little matchy-matchy set isn't all *that* bad. It's just that I would never think of wearing it now.

Now, I'm not one to diss capri pants in total. In fact, I still occassionaly wear them. I just don't wear printed ones anymore. But back in the day, I was ALL about the printed capris. From plaids to butterflies to floral explosions, I couldn't get enough. I paired them with a button down shirt (or a polo) and a jean jacket and instantly felt like I had turned into a style maven.

I bought this from Old Navy in the spring of 2001. I wore the plaid capris to work paired with a short-sleeved purple button down shirt. I would constantly get frustrated with the headband though -- I wanted so desperately to wear it with the outfit but I could  never get it to look right on my head.

2004: Fossil Hippie Belt

Please don't ask me why I bought this belt because I don't know. It's damn ugly, Thing is, I actually really liked it at the time, but I never wore it because it smelled like fish. How leather can smell like walleye guts is beyond me. I even put this thing outside on the patio in the dead of winter to air it out in hopes of getting rid of the tuna smell. It didn't work. Can you blame me for not wanting to walk around smelling like I have a personal hygiene problem?

Old Navy "Magic" the Dog Easter Bunny Plush

No, it's not an article of clothing...But remember when Old Navy sold these stuffed dogs? These "Magic" stuffed toys were sold at Old Navy in the early '00s. I always thought they were so cute! I had a bunch of them -- and apparently I sold this lil' guy on eBay. :( I kinda regret it. I wish Old Navy still sold these things.

2004: Maurices Maroon Fair Isle Sweater

I could lie and tell you I bought this in 1994 and wore it in high school, but I won't. I'll be honest and admit that I purchased and wore this matronly marvel in 2004. If you wore a sweater like this in the '80s and '90s, and were a high school student or young adult, that'd be fine. However, if you're a young twenty-something and wearing a bulky, shapeless, boring sweater like this in 2004, well, it's simply not stylish.

This is something a senior citizen named Mable would wear to the 2pm seating at the Old Country Buffet. But I wore it on dates with my boyfriend to TGIFridays for DRANKS and dinner.


I tried selling it on eBay a few years ago with no luck. I even paired it with a necklace to make it look nicer, but no bites. Today, it's probably dying a slow death in the bowels of a thrift store.

2000: Gap Khaki Shortalls

From about late 1999 until the spring of 2001, I was obsessed with wearing overalls. Overalls briefly revisited the fashion scene in the late '90s and early '00s. My signature outfit during those years (my college year, mind you) was a pair of denim, khaki or corduroy overalls paired with an Old Navy logo baby t. During the winter, it was an Old Navy logo-bearing long sleeved t-shirt or a tight-fitting ribbed sweater.  I lived for wearing this stuff. I had enough overalls to last me every day of the week, so if I wanted to look like Farmer Johnson's daughter (who just pulled up in a Jeep), I could.

Thankfully, I didn't tie a shirt around the waist. No, I did that fashion trend in 1996's "tie your sweatshirt around your waist of your overalls so that your ass looks like the back of the bus" epidemic.

I retired from wearing overalls in the spring of 2001, when I realized I was the only one still wearing this stuff.